OMG An update? Not possible

Alright, so it's been a while. I know, shame on me! I read your blogs Erick, and oh-my-gosh I miss you. I wish I was musically talented like you. Maybe then we'd be closer. Not a lot has been happening with me. I've been sick a lot lately. Also, I've been out at my aunt's house on the weekends, to escape the pregnant nightmare. Jessie hasn't been around so much, so it's not that bad.

Oh, a Ryan update! He's currently at Camp Attaberry, yes the military base. Yes, I'm totally pissed off, but so not telling him yet. My mom and aunt are SLIGHTLY unhappy about our relationship, but they don't say much. I'm not quite certain how to approach him about the military life. I don't want to be a military wife, and always traveling, never being able to settle down. I just don't want that. I also don't want to hold my breath everyday, and wait to see if he's been shot, or being shipped over seas. My mom and aunt don't quite understand, but I won't live like that. I want to be able to put down my roots, open my bookstore, and create a family.

I'm still eventually planning on moving to Moonbeam, Canada. Weird, I know, but it's what I want, so I shall have it. Even if I have to be a hobo to get it. My life is getting way weird lately though. I haven't been eating properly (worry about that later), I appear to have taken up a clean freak attitude, I've been reading more books than I can count! It's just crazy. I don't even feel real half the time anymore. I don't even really talk to people. Maybe I'm just becoming antisocial. Psh, nevermind, I already was.

My dad used to be an alcoholic, but now he's adicated to gambling. He takes his whole pay check to a casino and spends it all, then wants my mom to do the same. I don't think he realizes that we have bills to pay, and people to clothe, and mouth's to feed in our house. He's a complete dumbass and I just don't understand how any one person can be so selfish. I know this is going to sound bad, but I think Jasmine might be as bad as him.

I've been playing with tarot cards recently. Well not exactly playing, but doing readings. It's been forever since I've done it for my mom, but I'm scared to do hers. It's complicated, to say the least. I know a simple 3 cards spread, then I know the English spread, my friend Blaise taught me. So Erick, let me know if you want me to tell you your future.

<3 Much love to you Erick, and anyone else whom may come across and read this. I'll try and update more, Promise!

Summer needs to update more

So, I've been extremely neglectful lately.. I'm sorry. Not that anyone reads this other than Erick, but still. Ok, so a while ago I said that my 15 year old sister is pregnant. Well guess what... SHE'S HAVING A BOY!!!!!!! Also, at like 3 Am this morning she went to the hospital because of a uniery (I can't spell to save my life) tract infection. They have her taking antibiotics 4 times a day. It's why I'm not in school again today, that, and my stomach decided to be a witch and make me puke. Total gross. 

I've had not so good time this week, but I did get to talk to Ryan and might be going to see him soon!!! He's the sweetest guy I've ever met in my life, and I just love him way too much.. His phone got shut off, so I've been worried sick, but he got on myspace last night (yes, I said myspace! DEAL WITH IT!!) and magically he was on at the same time (Sadly just using his friends computer so we couldn't talk MUCH). I miss him like crazy, and can't stop thinking about him nearly all the damn time. Sometimes I'm a little freaked out about it.. but... not freaked out at the same time. 

My cats have decided that I'm their chew toy when I go to sleep at night. Some nights I don't feel it, others I do.. I've been having nightmares like crazy these days. Someones always dying in my dreams. It's kinda scary. I hate it. I hardly ever sleep, because I'm scared I'm going to see someone die, and then when I do sleep, I some how manage to wake up paralyzed with fear and whimpering. The few nights I don't have nightmares, I sleep so heavily that I usually don't hear my alarm clock. I'm thinking I should talk to a doctor about this, because it's really beginning to rack my nerves, but we don't have time for that right now. We don't even have time for me to go to the eye doctor. It's crappy. I'm attempting to look for a job, but with the economy like it is, I wish myself luck everytime I go online or walk up to places. I mean, for some odd reason, God obviously doesn't want me to work. Or he just hates me.. Maybe a little of both.. But yea.. Just wanted to give an update. I'm going to go lay down after getting Zoey off to school. Mucho Grande love for joo all!